The concept of “goodness of fit” comes from research considering parenting and temperament:

According to Chess and Thomas (1999, pp. 3) “goodness of fit results when the properties of the environment and its expectations and demands are in accord with the organism’s own capacities, characteristics, and style of behaving.” If there is a match between an individual’s temperament and the environment, optimal development can be achieved. Conversely, poorness of fit leads to maladaptive functioning. They also asserted that when assessing goodness of fit, consideration must be given to the values and demands of an individual’s culture and socioeconomic group.

We believe this concept is useful when applied to the fit between styles of Dominance, submission, and Femdom communities in Second Life.  The divergency of Domme styles is something to be celebrated and reflects the diversity of experience within the lifestyle of BDSM.  

Perhaps part of “responsible D/s” is ensuring there is a good fit between Dominant style and submissive goals.  In Second Life, diverse communities have developed around different approaches to female-led relationships, D/s, and the lifestyle in general.  When considering the “goodness of fit” between a submissive and Femdom communities we advocate a thorough investigation of the community practice model and the goals of the submissive.  

Responsible D/s always considers informed consent.  Consent is a complex process:  a core element is a commitment to freedom of choice.  Freedom of choice in SL involves the freedom to explore the diversity of Femdoms without recrimination or consequence.  Femdom Community Connections (FCC) is a “clearing house” organization promoting Femdoms in SL and Femdom friendly BDSM Communities in general.  When it is clear that what a submissive is seeking may not be a good fit for a specific Femdom community, FCC is a useful and essential resource. 

At Divine Sadism we recognize that our practice model of Collaborative/slave is not a good fit for E/everyone.  We encourage the free and open exploration of Femdoms, and strive to support /s types in finding a community that is the best possible fit for their hopes and dreams on their submissive journey. 

References 
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2846651

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