Hello F/friends. Today, as I look at the calendar, and it is already mid-July (so hard to believe), I thought I would share a tale about “The Jesus of July”. That is what My ex referred to himself as, since his birthday was July 25th. I found it humorous at the time, for he is also an atheist.
Those of Y/you who know Me, know I am polytheistic, and often say I’m a recovering Catholic. Spirituality is as important to Me as My BDSM practice, however, I chose to shelf the latter for nearly 15 years, while I was involved with My ex.
When he first learned of My lifestyle endeavors, he regarded Me like a Martian with three-heads. I was older than him, and wiser (by 8 years), and he was horrified, legitimately, that I enjoyed being sadistic and ‘hurting others’ without him fully understanding the nature of My practice. He wanted no part of it, ever. Unfortunate, as I know W/we could have had a great time together.
Over the years, My ‘Jesus’ explored some bedroom kinks, hesitantly, and often found traditional intimacies and PDA more moving. When I asked for a Hitachi Magic Wand for one birthday, it sent him into a fit of insecurity. “Why would you want that? Am I not satisfying you? Do you have another lover telling you to buy it?” Yeah, it was not fun. Still, I purchased the toy, and I think that slowly led the the decline of our relationship. (At least one contributing factor, that is.)
He always felt as though he was holding Me back from ‘greater whimsy and wickendess’ in the world. I never felt oppressed by marriage, for I had chosen to be with him, and I was okay with not practicing BDSM. I was happy, despite his discomfort. (<– normal for a Sadist, no?)
The point of My article being, W/we must take time discovering O/our compatibility with others. And W/we may find a vanilla dynamic does suit U/us at particular ages and stages. It’s okay. Love is Love… whether T/they are into your kinks or not.
I have no regrets in hindsight, and truly enjoyed the decade-and-a-half while I was with him. But, as I continue aging, I realize that marriage is not something I desire anymore. And rather, I’d love a slave to live-in and become a caregiver for the future. One who is high protocol, well trained, into long-term chastity, and domestic service. W/we will see what life has in store, but if anyone would like to file an application, in advance, I’ll be sure to keep them on file until I’m ready to make a move on that. 😉
Best regards, and sincerely sadistic,
Divine Queen Bitch Tanarra
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