Life can be a hard ride. Often, the cards we are dealt seem stacked against us. Our brains evolved to prioritize survival over comfort or calm. We scan for threat, register disappointment faster than satisfaction, and remember harm more vividly than safety. This negative bias has kept our species alive. It has also influenced the way many of us experience life.
While our hard-wired negative bias helped our species survive, there can be quite a cost. When our attention consistently focuses on what is wrong or what might go wrong next, our nervous systems remain in a state of vigilance. Over time, this becomes our “baseline” and reactivity to perceived harm defines our perception. This is where thankfulness enters – not as sentimentality or forced positivity, but as a deliberate balance to our evolutionary wiring.
Thankfulness, in this context, is not politeness, nicety, or artificial performance. It becomes a conscious choice of re-adjusting our attention to include experiences that add quality to our lives, even when life is difficult. This is not denial or erasing some of our emotions. It is balancing our perception.
Neuroscience shows us that repeated focus and action strengthens neural pathways. Neurons that fire together wire together, literally. What we repeatedly attend to becomes more visible, more automatic, more prevalent in our experience of life. Thankfulness, practiced consistently, helps the mind to see the whole picture – what is supportive and sustaining – even while acknowledging the hard stuff.
Grief, anger, exhaustion, worry, and sadness are not the opposites of thankfulness. They are part of the human condition. To be thankful does not erase these emotions. It is not about pretending everything is fine. Thankfulness enables us to notice a fuller range of experience.
When we are tired, emotionally overwhelmed, or depleted, finding anything to be thankful for can feel next to impossible. Perspective shrinks and even what usually brings comfort may seem distant or unreachable. Yet even then, simple comforts can still be found:
– My luxurious, thick blanket, a gift from friends.
– My home, warm while it is so cold outside.
– The framed picture, a gift from my brother, of a horse grazing in an Autumn field.
– The bitter, bracing taste of my coffee.
– The comforting presence of my cat as she lays on my feet.
These are small, real things. Things that are present when thoughts jumble or feelings seem so hard. They are quiet reminders that life still offers small comforts, even when we are not at our best. And sometimes, that is where thankfulness begins.
To practice thankfulness 365 days a year is not to pretend life is easy. It is to recognize that within difficulty, along with pain, there also exists beauty, joy, fulfillment, connection, and the momentary grace that often goes unseen when we focus on pain alone.
Over time, this creates a shift. The world begins to appear more nuanced, more balanced, more whole. In moments of grief, exhaustion, or conflict, thankfulness does not erase pain. It anchors us. It reminds us that even in emotional storms, there is still a bit of supportive ground. Breath. Body. Choice. Connection. Integrity. Thankfulness becomes an act of resistance against the tyranny of negativity, and a commitment to a fuller, more grounded experience of life.
Today social media, the twenty-four-hour news cycle, and near perpetual connectivity saturate our nervous systems in an almost constant stream of outrage, fear, grievance, and disaster. Our minds rarely rest from perceived threat. The impact of this relentless exposure, combined with our hard-wired survival bias, can contribute to deep and persistent despair. The simple, deliberate choice of 365 days of thankfulness becomes an act of resistance – daily refusal to allow despair to become our dominant narrative.
As Viktor Frankl wrote:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Will you choose thankfulness? Not as denial, but as choice.
In times such as these, that choice matters more than ever.
by Miss Rosa
References
Vaish, A., Grossmann, T., & Woodward, A. (2008).
Not all emotions are created equal – The negativity bias in social-emotional development.
Psychological Bulletin.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3652533/
Hebbian Learning and Memory Formation.
AlGore Education – Neurons that wire together fire together.
https://cards.algoreducation.com/en/content/rIbgpYCy/hebbian-learning-memory
Frankl, V. E. (1959).
Man’s Search for Meaning.
Beacon Press.
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