Recently, I was quite shocked and disappointed by a Dominant acquaintance, who dumped their slave after deciding they wanted to shift their life direction away from Femdom, and toward another life passion.
Literally, their slave was told, after sensing something was off, “I’m leaving Femdom, and we can stay friends, but I’m moving in this direction.” No processing time, no conversation, just a decision handed down without tact, compassion, or caring for this slave’s feelings. The slave was utterly blindsided.
Now, don’t get Me wrong, P/people change, W/we evolve, and yes, W/we move on from dynamics. HOWEVER, when You accept responsibility for someone else in a D/s dynamic, You negotiate and agree to care for the person You engage with, and I believe — quite strongly — this requires a commitment to helping your slave transition through such change, rather than just saying, “You’re an adult, you should be able to handle it.”
This is a very irresponsible way to handle things. You need to have an ‘exit strategy’ in mind, at the very beginning of a dynamic, to reduce damage and help them understand the why. You don’t have to spend an enormous amount of time, however reinforcing the plan throughout the relationship will better prepare them for that potential outcome. You absolutely should be clear with Your slave what to expect if a sudden change should occur.
As Dominants, it contributes to the ‘bad vibes’, especially in SL, to just discard someone hastily, without good communication or comfort care, that isn’t just focused on Your own happiness. Actively listening, ‘hearing their hurt’ — if that is their response, and NOT causing harm is absolutely Our responsibility.
How can We claim to be Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) when You tell someone ‘it’s over, sorry… didn’t plan it’. That is callous, cold, selfish, and unacceptable in My book.
So, if you are currently in a dynamic, or thinking of getting into one, really give consideration to the other(s) involved, and what their needs are. While there are those out there who wish to shirk responsibility for everyone, and everything, W/we are real human beings, with real feelings, needs, and necessities.
Think about your actions. You have to live with your decisions, and the wake which you leave behind.
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